• A mathematician, an accountant and and economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathmatician and asks "What does two plus two equal?" The mathmatician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four exactly?" The mathmatician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four,exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says,"On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, foue."
Then the interviewer calls in the economists and poses the same question,"What do two plus two equal?" The economists gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
• A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." Tha manager says,"No, we don't have any dick food." The duck leaves , and comes back later. He asks the manager, "Do you have any duck food." The manager is annoyed and says, "No, we don't have any duck food." The next day, here comes the duck again into hardware store. He finds the manager and says, "Do you have any duck food." No, we don't have any duck food and if you come in here and asks me that again, i am going to nail your feetto the floor!" and stomps away. The duck leaves and the next day, comes in again. HE says the manager, "Do you have any nails." The manager screams, "No, we don,t have any nails!" So the duck says, "Do you have any duck food?"
• While crossing the border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man was carrying. "What's in the bags?", asks the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
The guard asked the cyclist to empty the bags. After proving they contained nothing, but sand, the man reloaded the bags and left. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. The bags again contained sand. This webt on for six months.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown and asked, "Man you had us crazy. We knew you were smuggling something across the border, but what was it?"
"Bicycles!" said the cyclcist.
• A woman got into a bus with a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby i have ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took a seat. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathised and said, "Why, he's a public servant and should not say things to insult passengers." You're right, "She said. "I think i will go back there and give him a piece of my mind." "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold ypour monkey."